An app called Tea is going viral, letting women anonymously review men they’ve dated. The app has soared to the top spot on the US App Store, with downloads surging 185% in the first 20 days of July compared to June, according to Sensor Tower. Tea was founded by Sean Cook, inspired by his mother’s scary experiences with online dating, including being catfished and unknowingly engaging with men who had criminal records.
The app displays photos of men posted by anonymous users. Women can ask for “tea” (gossip) on someone they’re interested in or provide detailed reviews. Users react with green or red flags, comment, and share posts on a forum.
Some features are paywalled, like unlimited searches and background checks. The app claims 10% of profits go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Tea has a 4.7 rating from over 60,000 reviews on the App Store.
Reactions are mixed. Some praise it for exposing bad behavior, while others worry about privacy and false accusations. Mentions of Tea picked up on social media in mid-July.
PeakMetrics analysis found a “significant theme” in online discussions was the app’s ethical implications regarding privacy and defamation potential. 22-year-old Cid Walker, among Tea’s 4 million users, sees many people she knows on the app. “I would never think all this stuff about them,” she said.
Users can report “red flags” or “green flags” and share experiences. The app offers background checks and reverse image search. Despite finding it entertaining, Walker is uncomfortable with allowing anonymous negative comments.
Users prove they’re women with selfies that are deleted after review.
Privacy concerns and ethical implications
All remain anonymous except chosen usernames, and screenshots are blocked.
Tea’s website calls it “more than an app; it’s a sisterhood.” But some fear it enables cyberbullying and doxxing. The trend of publicly calling out men has roots in #MeToo but raises questions about what counts as a red flag. “Ultimately, this app is another facet of the wrongheaded idea that all we need is a tech fix for a societal crisis like gender-based violence,” said Lia Holland of Fight for the Future.
Real change requires dismantling surveillance and establishing privacy rights, she argues. Whisper networks exist because institutions often fail women. “Ideally, this would mostly be sort of a transition to a time when we all were more trusting,” said professor Deborah Tuerkheimer.
But Tea users aren’t as anonymous as they may think. The privacy policy allows sharing info for legal requests. Founder Sean Cook said Tea gets an average of three legal threats daily from unhappy men’s rights activists.
“We have a lot of people that are unhappy about what we’re doing, and that’s OK with us. We believe this is a public service,” he said. But the app’s gender verification doesn’t vet complaint legitimacy.
“True predators are smart — they could use the app to get good ‘reviews’ and lure unsuspecting dates with a false sense of security,” Holland noted. Dating requires assuming some risk and unraveling personalities. As writer Magdalene Taylor said, “So many people are treating dating as something to be done defensively and with hostility.”
Dating apps alone can’t solve the crisis of violence against women.
Real societal change is needed to hold men accountable and foster education and empathy. Whisper networks may protect some, but can’t fully shield anyone from heartbreak or harm. Women shouldn’t have to play cop online.
Men’s toxic and dangerous behavior must be disincentivized at the root.